I huff, I puffed, and decided it's not worth it!

I live in Colorado where there's like over a dozen 14ers, so of course I have to try to hike one, right? Wrong....oh so WRONG!! Who am I kidding, I am not an outdoor girl. No toilet = no likey. Not only was there no toilet, there was no coverage even if I were to be brave and attempt to go in mother nature's big backyard toilet. So I complained with each step I took up Grays Peak, looking around to see if there were any big bushes that hid my bush but to no avail. So I trudged up the mountain till my bladder and my ears couldn't take it anymore and called it a good brownie try.

The chipmunks were the best part.

List Update

It's update time! Summer is almost over and I know I have missed some opportunities to do some of the things on my list, like start a vegetable garden, so I hope I can keep this up until the opportunity presents itself next year. But at the rate I'm going, I think I will have a lot accomplished by the end of this year. I just need to add a few things on it that I can do indoors, maybe knitting and learn to bake bread. I'm open to suggestions so let me know!

WTF...Menstral Pinups?!

Seriously...who would have ever thought of something so funny and take the time to look for these pictures? Love it!

Menstral PinUps

5k = 3.1 miles, who knew?

I am not a runner and to be honest, I am inept at walking. I tend to drag my feet as I walk which consequently makes me stumble a lot. And if there's a wall, table, chair, or some other inanimate object nearby, I feel a pull towards them like a lemming towards a cliff. I'm always running into them with my shoulder, hips or feet!

Despite my clumsiness, I participated in the 23rd annual AIDS Walk Colorado. So on the event day, I grabbed the pups and Hana and we walked the entire 5k!! I actually didn't think we would make it due to Peanut never walking that distance at once, but she persevered and only took a few breaks. And good news, no falling or stumbling on my part either!

If you would like to donate to a great cause, please visit AIDS Walk Colorado.

City Park Jazz

Denver's City Park offers amazing free concert series each summer for the past 125 years. Essentially its an excuse for people to get together and ignore the open container law and pop open a bottle of wine or some beers in real glass bottles! Normally, I avoid large social gatherings in a public space like the plague because I have no patience to find parking and then try to find a grassy area that's free and clear of dog shit. But Jon and I took our scooter down to City Park so we didn't have to worry about finding a close parking spot and luckily our friends, Lisa and Robert, wanted to go too and got there early and secured a spot near the lake!





We went for the last night of the concert series featuring Tuxedo Junction, a USO and 1940's musical review. And from the looks of the schedule, we chose the perfect band to go watch, unfortunately about a thousand other people had the same idea.

Regardless that we were too far away to hear the band, we had a great spot underneath a tree that shielded us from the rain. Overall, there was good company, good food, and good fun!

Next time, Jon and I will have to figure out how to pack our scooter better so we can bring more food and a badminton set for Jon and Jamie. But I was super happy I finally was able to put my Jack Daniels folding chair, that I won in drag queen bingo, to good use! The back straps were perfect for our scooter ride there and back.

Screw in the Light Bulb, Pat the Dog

I love everything about Bollywood movies; the colors, music and especially the choreographed dance. Who cares if I don't understand a single word? It just looks like so much fun! I wished real life was just like that, where you can be having a conversation with a person one minute to having a full fledged dance routine the next. Admit it, watching Bollywood movies is a guilty pleasure.

Whenever an indian inspired song comes on, I always rely on my trusty dance move of screwing in the light bulb with one hand as I simultaneously pat my imaginary dog with the left. I learned that clever tidbit from "Bride and Prejudice". But I was tired of always doing the same move, so what do I do? Sign up for Bollywood dance classes of course! It doesn't matter if I have no sense of coordination or really even a center of gravity, I took the plunge and purchased a four class package from Bollywood West a great dance studio not too far from my house where I can even take my scooter.

My first class was last Tuesday and we are learning a dance routine for the song "Kajra Re" from Bunty Aur Babli. I've never seen the movie but my favorite Bollywood actress, Aishwarya Rai (who is the most gorgeous woman in the world), is the leading lady in the song.

You can watch the video and the dance routine here:


I'm not as graceful as any of the women in the video, I might be more like the man who falls near the beginning, but that's okay. I'm just having fun and hoping to add some new moves in my repertoire.

Lovely Day for a Stroll to Old South Pearl

It was time, I had to leave the car and scooter at home and walk on my own two feet and go the 1.05 miles to Old South Pearl. And who did I bring for company? Always my trusty sidekick, Jon, my puppies, and Lisa and Robert! Our walk was just lovely, we saw flowers, discovered new stores, and made it to the Farmers' Market that occurs there every Sunday.

I bought some green beans, a cucumber, and some corn. Normally I don't bother pulling back the husk because I'm not sure what I am suppose to look for, but this time I had to do it since the farm is all natural and doesn't use pesticide and I found some nasties in the bunch. But I got 4 pieces of corn for 50 cents! Not too shabby, even if they weren't that good and looking through corn scared the bejeebus out of me. I haven't decided what to do with the cucumber yet, perhaps try out the skills I learned from Joystick Secrets or maybe I'll just put it in a salad.

It was pretty hot out so we didn't stay too long, just enough time to grab an italian cream soda at Stellas and my veggies. Overall, a successful trip and I might even do it again. Although poor Peanut and Humphrey, they're not use to all that exercise and had to take a few breathers on the way back.

Especially the pudgy one.

That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.

Do kids these days know who Ren and Stimpy are? Cartoons these days are a real travesty, where's the grotesque characters and indecent humor? Sure, there's Family Guy and American Dad, but they are obviously not hideous enough like a eye popping chihuahua or a booger filled cat. And don't get me started on the teen movies these days? None will be as great as Clueless, a truly classic movie dating all the way back to 1995.

So imagine my excitement when they were planning on playing Clueless for one of the Films on the Rock. So I marked it on my calendar months in advance!! When time came due, I guilted Jon into going with me and we packed some snacks and grabbed Jimmy Johns for dinner and headed west. We arrived to Red Rocks without any problems and even got some decent parking lots. But then the real problem started, I got tired walking up from the parking lot and were weren't even towards the base of the entrance yet. I am totally out of shape! That was one mean hill so we had to stop so I can rest and build up my energy by eating some cheddar and sour cream chips.

Once I've had a little sustenance, I tackled the big behemoth that is the stairs to the entrance. As I huff and puffed my way up, I was thrilled to see there was a short line of people checking guests bags because I knew the torture was near the end. So we got in, I bought Jon a beer so he can be tolerable, and we settled into a spot near the stage. It looked like it was going to rain earlier in the day but as we sat listening to the opening band, it looked like the weather was cooperating, or so I thought.


Surprisingly there was a lot of people there and a lot of boys. I saw a few Cher wannabes with their plaid skirts and knee highs, which was fun. We got through the band, a comedian (I think) and a quick Bugs Bunny cartoon (completely random) and then the rain started.



Luckily I brought an umbrella but it was pretty puny. You would think the rain would ruin the experience but no, it was a bunch of cackling, drunk hags who decided to sit right next to us. Long story short, we left early partially due to rain but mainly due to drunk old ladies. Despite that, I still had fun and would definitely do it again but would remember next time to bring a blanket and a bigger umbrella so I can block out annoying neighbors.

It's a Storm....an American Storm

So what do you do on the last couple day of your 20's and to welcome in your 30's? Go to Vegas of course! Despite losing a ton of money, which in turn ended up being my anniversary gift, and surviving on greasy buffets all weekend...Vegas was awesome! Who doesn't love that place? Where else can you get drinks that light up and then get to see half naked men showing off their biceps and doing spirit fingers?

Hello Boys!

No more incriminating pictures. What happens in Vegas, for the most part, stays in Vegas!

Happy Birthday Lisa!!

Happy Anniversary?

So I have had time to cool down from the unfortunate incident that was our anniversary dinner at Sullivans. I'm no longer that upset but I'm still angry. I'm glad that I spoke up about the unfair treatment given to us by the hostess because if she thought she was able to get away with discrimination with us, she'll do it to someone else.

Rarely will I complain and its even rarer if Jon complains when something isn't right with our dinners or service. We will sit through terrible food, poor service and even cackling hags at the next table. But not anymore!! I'm getting too old and do not have the patience to deal with morons.

So watch out service industry folks!! I expect yummy food served promptly with a good attitude and smile. If I want to sit in a booth and there are 7 open, do not give me a BS excuse why we can't sit there and then subsequently sit three other groups of people who requested the same thing.

In the words of the Legend of Billie Jean, "Fair is Fair"!!

Wigging Out

I asked Hana if there was anything she always wanted to do and she mentioned going out with wigs. Wearing wigs out in public wasn't originally on my list since there's really no opportunity to wear them without looking like a freak unless its Halloween or maybe a bachelorette party. But since no one was getting married soon and Halloween was so far away, why the hell not? So we dragged our friends Alicia and Krystal with us for a night on the town.

And boy, did we have fun!! First stop, Hamburger Mary's for a drag show. Even though one of them called Hana and I a couple of Connie Chungs, the show was still great and those ladies were fierce!




Next stop, bar hopping down Colfax to Dulcineas 100th Monkey, Nob Hill and a few other bars that I can't remember the name of.

We also saw this hilarious sign and I thought might as well call my blog this because all the names I wanted were taken and in reality, aren't we always watching out for truks? Well, at least trucks. :)

While watching out for trucks, we saw these lovely men in uniform who were good natured enough to take their pictures with a bunch of lushes without taking us in to the drunk tank. And as a thank you, I've hidden their identities plus they might change their mind after I exposed who they really are.

This is only a fraction of our night and to keep this blog PG-13, I will leave it at this...

this was a fabulous idea and every girl should gather her friends, go out and hit the local bars and clubs and see where the night takes you!

Sew Kewl

For my birthday Jon got me a clock, a short stubby clock. I'm not sure what he was thinking or if that's suppose to be a reminder that my clock is ticking and I'm getting older by the minute. So what did I do? Had him return it of course and instead I bought myself a sewing machine! Sure, the last time I sewed was in the 7th grade home econ class where I made shorts with one leg bigger than the other but that doesn't discourage me and not knowing how to sew is a minor detail. You've got to start somewhere, right? So I signed up for a learn to sew class at Fancy Tiger (http://www.fancytiger.com/), a local craft store that has a ton of fun fabrics and lots of great classes. I learned some basics such as how to work the machines and fill up a bobbin with thread, but sewing straight apparently takes practice, a LOT of practice. We made a small project, a card holder or at least that's what it was supposed to be when we were done.

Instead, this is what mine turned out to be.




It turned out pretty wonky but it does fits cards, surprisingly! I think sewing straight is not exactly my strong point but maybe I'll get better someday. Jon says now that I'm a seamstress, all I have to do is learn how to do manicures and pedicures and I'll make him his perfect asian bride.

List Update

Here's an update on my list. I'll cross off the items I get completed and if I add any extras, they'll be in red.

4 DOWN

34 TO GO

Over the Handlebars

There isn't and won't be a lot of activities on my list that requires effort on my part, but I've been dying to go mountain biking for a long time now. The last time I rode a bike was over two years ago in Martha's Vineyard with my friend Kelly and I was struggling, even though the road was mostly flat and the view was amazing and we stopped for ice cream. It was a super fun ride and the most exercise I had in three years, but I realized that AFTER we already rode around the island, there was a scooter rental next to the bike shop and I could have kicked myself because that would have been so much easier! Oh well, lesson learn, look for scooters first then settle on using your own man power. But renting a scooter would have defeated the purpose of mountain biking. Although my version of mountain riding requires little to no pedaling, no sweating, and no real effort. My idea is taking a lovely gondola ride to the top of Vail and taking a relaxing ride down the a mountain on a paved road.

So on the 4th of July, Jon and I jumped into the jeep and headed up to mountains. Thank goodness there was hardly any traffic but the drive up was a little ominous with the heavy fog drifting through the mountains. Not only was the fog so thick we were crawling up the mountain, but I also saw a dead deer on the side of the road. I think that was a warning to turn around and scratch mountain biking off my list.









But then the fog lifted and then the sun shone and I was feeling good about the day. We drove into Lionshead Village and realized there was a 4th of July parade and it was chaotic, but we managed to find parking in a no parking zone and hoped for the best when we returned. So we made our way through, avoided the parade, rented our bikes and up we were on the gondola! No turning back now! It was a really nice ride up on the gondola, a first for me too although it didn't make the list.

After we got to the top, we had a little lunch and made our way down Village Trail, the longest and most pleasant route on the mountain. It started off pleasant enough.





But then disaster struck! I was halfway through a turn and I flew over the handlebars and did a belly flop on the ground. Poor Jon, he saw the whole thing happen and thought I face planted instead and threw his bike on the ground to rescue me, expecting to see missing teeth and bloody face. But no such thing, I was relatively fine. The only thing I could think about was the bike and how we said no to the $3 insurance. Why...why didn't we get it knowing how clumsy I am?! That was my first concern...actually no, it wasn't. My first concern was if I had hurt my face (because I'm vain like that) and then my second thought was if the bike was fine so we didn't have to pay for damages (because I'm cheap like that). Luckily for me, both were intact! Here's some pictures of the aftermath and since it was the 4th of July, I had to wave the flag!

After the fall, Jon said he's not sure if he likes me pursuing my list. I told him, don't worry, the life insurance is paid up and I gave him the go ahead to pull the plug should anything else happen. He seemed satisfied with that. Despite the dirty clothes, bruises, infected scrapes, not being able to turn my head to the left and being completely sore the next few days, I still had a great time and would do it again!! Maybe next time, I'll bring knee and elbow pads.

P.S. We didn't get a parking ticket and the scab on my elbow finally fell off the other day. Things are looking good, woohoo!!

Meet the Family

Who am I? A pessimistic optimist who goes through a life crisis every other week, I have no real talents like juggling or doing slam poetry, I don't like to get my hands dirty, I have lots of ideas but no motivation to follow through and I try out new expensive hobbies that consume my life until I get bored and then I move on to the next crazy scheme. And I also like puppies, cupcakes, and rainbows. So what man can handle all of this? This lucky one named Jon. He tricked me into dating him but he didn't know what he got himself into by asking me out on a date. Jokes on him, because he didn't know it was a full time job dating the likes of me! But he was up for the challenge and now we're married. Sucker.



And so began the start of our family. After we got together, we got our first born, Peanut and then followed Humphrey. Peanut is actually the big white and black dog, who loves to sunbathe and eat, but she can't watch tv because she gets riled up by seeing animals on shows. Humphrey is the chow/corgie mix or as I like to call the chowgie. He likes to sleep under our bed and is a very happy dog, but he wasn't too happy the day I got him shaved like a lion. But lucky for him, his hair grew out and he no longer sports the mane.

I once said to Jon that Peanut is the sunshine in my day and Humphrey, the twinkle in my eye. He, in turn, said "What am I? The stain on your butt?" in which I replied "Yes, you are the skidmark in my undies." And then I laughed and laughed but he didn't seem to think it was THAT funny. So just to clear it up, he is no skidmark but the love of my life who supports my ideas and makes me coffee every morning, plus he's a cutie. I think I'll keep him.

Pedal Faster, Faster!

Every summer for the past 5 years, Jon has had to hear me complain about how he never takes me on the paddle boats at Washington Park when we drive past the park. I longingly eye the lucky people in the blue boats, envious of the couples and families spending a lovely summer day floating on top of the cool water. A perfect way to spend a hot day, leisurely pedaling and having deep conversations with each other, possibly discussing poetry or their life plans.

Well ... that's not exactly what happened with us. Instead, it was too hot and our boat was going too slow. Jon says its because he was doing all the work but I deny such allegations! My feet were on those pedals. Look at the proof!

Despite only being on the water for 20 minutes (we had an hour rental) and Jon didn't discuss his undying love for me, I still had fun. We saw some birds up close, got a little exercise and I got a slight tan. Bonus!

Dust Off

I have driven down South Broadway about a thousand times and have always eyed the antique shops lining the street but never had a reason to stop inside, plus I'm lazy. Have you seen the parking situation on that street? Its a pain, especially lately with all the construction. But I quit my whining and went with Hana to a couple of stores. And I'm glad we did, we found some amazing furniture and fabulous hats! Now...if I can just find a way to cram all our dvds in a turn of the century apothecary chest.

Canvas and Cocktails

Sometimes I get my ideas by perusing the Westword. I'm going to assume no one but my one friend (Hana) is reading my blog so I won't go into details what the Westword is but they have amazing ideas of things to do in Denver. That is where I read about Canvas and Cocktails (www.canvasandcocktails.com), a fun night out that lets us explore our inner Picasso while we improve our skills and dexterity with some liquid confidence. So I gathered up our book club and had a girls night out. The class was so much fun and my masterpiece is now hanging on the mantle of my fireplace.